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Social Distancing: Branch Manager Style

May 21, 2020

6 feet

Check out this article written by a branch manager at Denver Community CU, a $346M credit union with five branches around the Denver, CO metro area. We can heartily say the author's thoughts resonate deeply; the concept of "six-feet" will forever be imprinted on our psyche. Branch managers, tellers and COOs, our hearts go out to you during these times! Have a read for a well-needed chuckle.

Social Distancing
By Holly Vanderpool, Branch Manager, Denver Community Credit Union
Originally published on Apr 16, 2020

Holly VanderpoolI’m not sure about everyone else but social distancing at work has me sounding like a chaperone at a junior prom. “What’s going on here?! Y’all are TOO CLOSE! Does this look like 6 feet to you? You keep that up, I’m gonna ask you to leave!”

Social distancing presents a little challenge when auditing someone’s drawer. “Stay with me for dual control. Watch me closely, but not too close! Like, stand way over there, but keep those eyes over here!”

Social distancing has also made me realize just how awkward I am. I can’t just graciously and gracefully maintain a 6-foot separation. Nope. If I see you coming at me, I’m going to stutter step like newborn giraffe while mentally calculating the narrowing distance between us and panicking about my next move. I’ll try to recover as quickly as possible, but I pretty much always end up looking like Homer Simpson disappearing backwards into a bush.

homer

I’ve realized that it’s a valuable social practice to IMMEDIATELY address the need to cough. (Cough, cough) “Don’t worry, y’all, I’m just choking on my water! It’s not the ‘Rona!” An instant sense of relief floods the office if this proclamation is made. It’s when someone DOESN’T make this statement that you begin regarding them suspiciously!

Sneezes also no longer warrant a “bless you”. Instead, you’ll be scrutinized disapprovingly as if you insulted someone’s puppy. It’s only after you say, “These allergies are killing me!” does the suspicion subside, and the sneeze is forgiven.

Also, have you noticed that a human’s number one habit is touching their face?! Just thinking about NOT touching my face creates itches out of NOWHERE! So, then I’m making the faces you make when you need to scratch an itch but can’t touch your face.

Pro tip: never make eye contact with anyone during this process, it’s awkward!

While I’m having a little fun with how weird our “new normal” is, it’s important to take social distancing seriously. We are all part of a valuable team and want everyone to stay safe and healthy!  We need everyone to socially distance as much as possible when in the office. Wearing a mask is recommended in the event it is difficult to maintain the recommended 6-foot distance. 



In times like these, all we can do is laugh to keep from crying! Thank you Denver Community CU for sending this along.


 

thanks

 

 

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